Last night Runson and I played in Venice at a jazz club called the RG. The current standing name for our project is KIRUN (“key-roon”). We have 3 or 4 set songs, but what we love to do best is create live based on our settings, the people in the audience, how we feel that day and what we bring out each in each other. But, what was different for me in last night’s show was that I felt more confident, and I trusted in my own intuitions and experimentation more than I ever have. I had just come back from two weeks on the road touring with MIA and I think that because it was such a major opportunity and a mile stone in my own career, I returned with a new found ability to trust myself and let go more when I play live.
Last night was my show. I was playing my music. I was playing with someone whom I trust and who knows how to roll with my rhythms and transitions, so I just let loose and went for it. I played off time, with mismatched sticks, with varying tempos. I allowed my body to follow my inspiration – the goal was not to keep the beat in a supporting role but instead to push the boundaries of rhythm, to fuck with the audience, to keep them engaged, to witness a show that was about two musicians’ collaboration and reaction to each other. I allowed myself to play hi hat unconventionally, take the snare off at times, and even stop playing altogether when I wanted the audience to listen to Runson’s sweet guitar. And he was right there with me.
Last night, I felt I graduated from fear. I graduated from a fear of proving myself as a drummer, wondering if people get what I’m doing or if I’ll be taken seriously or how pushing boundaries might be perceived. Last night I let loose and played whatever I thought would sound solid in that moment. And it worked.